This is how I spent a good chunk of my day yesterday.
I have spent a lot of time contemplating writing about this post, but the truth is I felt really alone dealing with it. Not that I didn't have people I confided in, amazing people who were over-the-moon-awesome and positive and supportive, but other than that I felt like I was supposed to hide this. So maybe by writing it, someone out there reading it is dealing with the same thing and they'll realize they aren't so alone.
There's such a void when it comes to being female and having problems down there. Heck, if you're a guy they have commercials for every problem you ever experience every 7 1/2 minutes on nationwide television, but us ladies, we aren't quite so open.
So a few years ago when my doctor informed me that my yearly exam had come back showing abnormal cells, it was scary. Really scary. Because you know "abnormal cells" is like the code word for cancer.
It's scary to be a girl, of child-bearing age (although I do NOT need one of those any time soon) and know that it's not quite right down there. You spend a lot of time wondering if, when the day comes that you do want a little bambino, if it will even be possible.
We've been "keeping an eye" on those cells. I swear see my lady doctor more regularly than I see some of my friends. I've had more pap smears (oh my god, I know, I just said that on my blog, gasp, get over it we all have them) and colposcopys than I'd like to mention. I'm fairly certain I'm know at my doctors office as the over-dramatic chick, since I manage to pass out and vomit after nearly every colpo.
A few weeks ago I received a follow-up call from my doctor letting me know that the bad cells had progressed. They most recent tests were showing moderate to severe abnormal cells. Albeit, they believed they were precancerous, but still wanted to remove them as soon as possible.
I spent yesterday having a LEEP procedure done. Where they take this electrocharged looped tool and scrape out the areas of bad cells on your cervix.(If you read that without cringing, you are one hell of a woman) Thankfully, I was under anesthesia and felt nothing. Although I pulled my signature move and fainted when they first gave me the IV. (Hey, I like to keep those nurses on their toes!)
My doctor said the procedure went well, I survived my first time being anesthetized (is that a word?) and now I'm dealing with the very crampy recovery stages. And keeping every finger, toe, and eye crossed for this to come back showing good results and maybe, just maybe, I can be done with this.
It's funny to me, the few people I have told end up knowing someone who has directly dealt with this. So why is it so faux pas to bring up? So I guess the point of this whole post is to let you know that yea, it is scary, but you aren't alone, and if I can get through it... I promise you that you can!